Well, last night was the first night of "school nights". We showered everyone early and then started the bedtime routine. However, I realized that our bedtime routine isn't quite as routine as it should be. I did manage to get Olivia and Ellie down pretty early, Vince doesn't really matter because he doesn't start school for another few weeks but Caden...Oh, Caden. Bedtime last night was 7:30. All kids were in bed at 7:30. At 10:30 Caden was still awake. We hadn't battled him like this all summer! I think he was anxious about going to school, or just wanted to prolong the inevitable as long as possible and honestly had trouble falling asleep. I also think he's not really into this series of books that he's currently reading, since for the last few weeks he's been in bed, reading for a long time, but at least he's in bed and resting. He would turn out the light at a reasonable time and just doze off all summer long! Last night reminded me how it is during the school year. So while they were all asleep and Caden was sneaking his iPod to bed (something he also ceased to do during the summer) I researched sleep on the interwebs. I found lots of great information, most importantly confirming my thought that putting all kids to bed at the same time was not age appropriate for all of them. There was just no way that Caden, at 9, needs the same bedtime as Olivia, at 2. I was correct. I found that Caden and Ellie need between 10-11 hours of sleep, Vince needs 11-13 and little Miss Olivia needs between 12-14 hours of sleep in a 24 hour period (this accounts for naps). Since she seems to be the only one that's really doing OK with the current bedtime schedule, I figured I'd just keep her on the long end of that and put her to bed with Vince. I also read that 1/2 hour before you want kids to be in bed asleep, you should start the bedtime routine. This is where I ran into trouble. So I searched for school age bedtime routines. I feel like we just hose them off, brush teeth then off to bed. What I read seemed to say that they need more time to wind down, which I totally see with the older 3. I also read some really good arguments for spreading out bedtimes because it allows you as a parent to focus on each kid individually. I like this idea. I feel like having 4 of them kind of turns them into sheep sometimes and I'm just herding them. The best thing I read talked about reading to your kids, even if they can read themselves. I like this idea too. I said before that I wanted to read to them more, but this idea might actually work. They talked about how this quite alone time with just the two of you can increase communication between you and your child now which will also build a better foundation for the teen years (something that I worry about with Caden and Ellie both.)
Ellie also gave me a fantastic idea last night. I told her she had to be in bed. She could read a book if she wanted, but she had to be in bed. The book she choose as a fairy puzzle book. On page has a story about the fairy, the other page is a wooden puzzle. She placed it all out on her bed and quietly and calmly put the puzzle together. When I came in to check that she wasn't out of bed playing or whatever it is that she's doing in there when she's supposed to be asleep, I realized she was really tired and just needed help with the last few pieces. I helped her and she pulled up the covers and was asleep in minutes. PUZZLES! This has the potential to be a miracle for Caden! I'm thinking that while I'm showering the younger kids and getting them ready for bed, Caden will have puzzle time. After that he can shower, brush teeth then read in bed for awhile. Since he'll be staying up (according to my new bedtime time table) an hour longer than the two little ones, I'll have plenty of time to read with him. I love this idea because despite the fact that he's a fantastic reader, I'm always amazed at the speed at which he can read. It makes me suspicious that he's not REALLY reading carefully or that he's skimming certain parts. I can also check his comprehension as we read together. Plus, I get to read what he's reading, learning what his current interests are and connect with him a little more. Ellie and I read frequently because she's at that stage where she's pretty independent but still needs help. We partner read a lot (she reads a page and I read the next) and we both enjoy this. Of course Vince and Olivia need to be read to, but they're often hurried off to bed because we're trying to get everyone else in bed as well. If the older two are puzzling, (Ellie can probably just play quietly in her room) this will give Evan and I each one kid to read with and we can divide and conquer. This is SO important for Olivia because I see her love of books and it reminds me of Caden at that age. Ellie and Vince never would sit still like Caden and Olivia do for books. She'll sit with you forever if you read to her. She has her favorite books that she wants to read over and over and over again. Giving her my time like that is SO important in her development! Sesame Street tells me about the First Three Year and how important it is to read with young children. If you can't trust furry, friendly monsters, who can you trust?!
I'm excited to give this new bedtime routine a try. It will probably go well because it's new and novel so they'll be inclined to go along with it well, but hopefully, the routine will take over. Once it becomes "just what we do" hopefully bedtime will become less of a battle and more of a time for Evan and I to spend some quality time with each of the kids.
**I tweeted the articles that I read last night that helped me create my bedtime routine.
First Day Picture:
Vince was crabby--someone needs a better bedtime routine!
Missing one, but a great pic of the other three!
