Happy 10th Birthday To Caden!

I can't remember each hour any more.  Nine, even eight years ago I could remember the day of my first child's birth so well that when I looked at the clock throughout the day I'd think "Right now they had him up in the nursery giving him his first bath.  This is about the time that my Dad et al arrived from up north to meet him.  This is when I was served dinner. " (I have to say, being served food is my favorite part of each kid's birth.  It's so sad to go home and actually have to WORK and not have food appear.)  I can't remember anymore what was happening at each hour of March 10th, 2005 but I certainly do remember the day overall.  I was so tired since I had been in labor all night and he was born at 5:55 am, 5 minutes before I was supposed to be induced.  (Nice timing Buddy, well done. )

For the next year Caden had to be pried out of my hands.  I wanted to hold him ALL the time.  When we'd go to family functions, Evan would take him from me so other people could hold him.  I never offered him up, just enjoyed my time with him until someone asked, or took him by force. I remember wearing him in a front carrier while I made dinner when he was only a few months old.  I had gone back to work and I missed him so much that I didn't want to be away from him for a second.      His first birthday was a party at our house in Columbus and we invited all the great-grandparents and grandparents and uncles and aunt.  It was the first time I'd thrown a party like that and our fridge broke a few days before.  I couldn't use it until the morning of the party, so I went shopping, tried to make all the food and the cake before everyone arrived.  I didn't make the deadline. The cake stuck in the pan because I didn't grease and flour it and Evan had to run out and get another box of cake mix.  I was cutting and frosting right up until we were ready to serve it.

This year is different.
This year the only time I got to hold him today was when I grabbed him and kissed the top of his head as he walked out the door to meet the bus.  He'll get home and head right downstairs to play and I'll maybe get a few words out of him about how his day was.  We'll head out to Chuck E Cheese's for dinner (the kids get to pick where they want to eat on their birthday) then home for shower and bed.  His family party will be this weekend and we'll order pizza (again, his choice) and I'll pick up a cookie cake from the store (his choice, again) a far cry from the party I planned for his first birthday.

He's 10!  A DECADE!  I know everyone goes though this when their oldest gets older--Facebook has taught me this--but I still wasn't quite ready for MY kid to turn ten.  I could never have predicted how he'd be at ten on that first birthday.  I really thought he'd be more into sports. I COULD have predicted how much he'd love books, since that was evident even at 1.  He even LOOKS different than he did as a baby, his face is changing into a school-aged kid, not so much a little kid.  He's put me through so much heart-ache with all his ADHD issues but I wouldn't change a thing about him, well, maybe the fact that he's always cutting his own hair.  He gets so angry when I call him baby, but like I told him, no matter how old he gets, he'll always be my baby, the little guy I didn't want to put down, the tiny little person who made me who I am today, Mom.