Feeling Red

I realized as soon as I typed it, this could be taken as my membership in the Communist party, but it's not.  I looked at the color wheel and red is the opposite of green.  (Could have looked at a stop light too, I guess.)  I've been slowly losing my greenness over the last few months.  I didn't blog for the whole month of December, which is what helps me keep focused.  I've started buying less and less organic food, to save money (and it's saved me A TON!)  I bought TONS of harsh chemicals to clean with when we moved into this house.  I've been letting my kids eat crap.  I've been eating crap.  I'm still cloth diapering though!  And nursing!  So there's THAT.  But I really feel like I've gotten away from what I envisioned myself becoming when I started this blog.  The fact that I have this blog makes me feel even more guilty about my slide into orange and toward red.  The good news is that I'm in total control of it.  I can change it any time I would like.  I'm just tired and I lack the motivation to keep pushing on.  I never realized how much WORK it is to be green!
 I just did little baby steps up and up and up and the more I added the easier the stuff I had been doing before seemed.  Now that I've been backsliding so long, it seems like a marathon to do all those little baby steps again to get back to where I was. But, when overwhelmed, I always do what my mother told me a LONG time ago.  "One Thing Done And That Done Well, Is a Very Good Rule As Many Can Tell."  So I'm starting with the most important thing to me (which incidentally is where I started before.)  Organic Produce.  I've been getting MOSTLY organic produce, but since I stopped going to the Raisin Rack every week and getting most of my produce from Aldi and Wal-Mart, I've been getting some produce that isn't organic.  I feel guilty every time I put it in my cart.  It's cheaper, but I'm literally poisoning my family.  So first step, ALL organic produce.  I feel a little better just deciding on that now.  See, baby steps.  Once the weather turns warmer, I think I'll feel a little better.  It's always easier for me to be and act greener when I'm outside.  Which made me think of Farmers Markets, which reminded me that Kent's Haymaker Farmer's Market has a winter market.  It's Saturdays from 10-1 and now that I'm SO much farther north, it won't be quite as long of a drive.  Maybe I'll beg Nana to go with us again and we can see what they have to offer.  Ahhh, it feels good to be green again!